I want to share something tender and honest from my heart.
Inner Child work is something I do with almost every one of my clients, because of how profoundly powerful it is. We all have an inner child, and this work isn’t simply about reconnecting with our playful, curious, or light-hearted side. The healing lies in meeting and loving the part of us that experienced pain, fear, sadness, or confusion at an age when we were far too innocent to understand what was happening or make sense of it.
As a therapist, it is essential that I do my own work—that I walk the path rather than simply speak about it. I meditate daily, journal at least once a day, and spend a great deal of time bringing awareness to my own shadow, projections, and inner parts. Recently, my own inner child was deeply triggered, and I felt called to share my process in the hope that it may resonate with or support others.
I carry a long-standing pattern of feeling like an outsider—of not quite fitting in, of being excluded or unseen. My mum has told me that even as a very young child I was “different,” and I certainly didn’t come with an instruction manual. One of my earliest memories is from pre-school, when we performed Noah’s Ark. The animals were paired two by two—except for me. I was the odd number, assigned to be the back end of a hippo, given a tail instead of a mask.
The conditioning begins so early. Parents, teachers, and peers have an enormous influence on the beliefs we internalise about ourselves. This pattern of being “the odd one out” repeated throughout my life, and I learned to try to earn love through service and devotion, hoping for validation. Over time, this led to self-erasure. I once ran away from home—not for long—and no one even noticed I’d gone. That moment quietly reinforced a deep belief that I wasn’t seen or valued.
This pain point still gets activated from time to time, particularly in relation to a beautiful community that has helped heal my fear of rejection by accepting and loving me exactly as I am. That community, however, lives in another country. I am an ocean away, and I don’t speak the language. I travel there as often as I can and have devoted myself to being of service, yet there are inevitably times when I can’t be physically present with my team.
When the most recent trigger arose, I noticed the familiar emotions: sadness, longing, grief, fear of missing out, fear of being forgotten. I felt an ache in my chest and a tightness in my throat. Instead of pushing it away, I sat with it. I allowed the emotion to move through me in tears and I journaled.
Then I held a photograph of myself as a child and spoke directly to her.
I told her she is loved and worthy of love. I told her that I see her and understand her pain. I spoke to her exactly as I would speak to one of my daughters if they were feeling the same way. I told her how proud I am of her—how kind, caring, brave, and strong she is. I reminded her that she is whole and perfect just as she is, and that she is held and supported by something deeply sacred. I encouraged her to stand in her power and sovereignty. I held her and offered the love and reassurance she needed. Then I put on music that helped anchor and reaffirm these messages.
The whole process moved through me in about an hour, and I was left feeling clearer, lighter, safer, and more grounded.
When the inner child arises, it’s so important to notice what’s happening and work with it. If we don’t, old patterns and stories continue to run the show from the background. We unconsciously reinforce false beliefs that were formed in early childhood unless we bring them into conscious awareness.
Inner Child work is not something we “finish.” It’s an ongoing relationship. The tender places will continue to be triggered, but with awareness, love, and gentleness, they no longer have to control our lives from the shadows. This work isn’t about bypassing or dismissing old feelings—it’s about meeting them with compassionate, non-judgemental presence, and choosing to respond differently.
If you feel called to explore Inner Child healing with me, I would love to support you. You’re welcome to book a free connection call below, or download my Inner Child meditation by clicking here
With love and blessings,
Emma